Leaving Montana, there are reasons to cry!

July, 26, a last class and conference --Mansfield Library--, my last week-end in Missoula, I

With Shroeder, Josh, Chinami, Ayano & Kei

cried a lot. I was not--quite sure-- the only one, but I did it pretty longer! Probably, some commented “how can a man of his age can weep, saying goodbye?” One day I will answer to my humorous friend Shu Mian, who shot many pictures!  A man of my age?  By the way, “I didn’t do as idiots do”, if I recall Forrest Gump (last): I don’t think idiot people attend that kind of ceremonies, and if so, can they cry for the same reasons?

After Dr Emmanuel Edzongui had delivered his goodbye message in class, I suggested that Zineb or Fernanda do the same at that 26^th final ceremonies, following Gerry Spencer who wrote and convinced me, “Biological differences transmit differently messages.” By that assertion against prejudices, I understood the gender and age reference. They refused, but I understood, even though they didn’t explain their motives.

That well-known lawyer of “truly power of persuasion”, said Robert Shampiro about Gerry, convinced me over and over again : Dr Sandra who cried first, and made us cry, didn’t learn how to leave with people at school: “I have been working with internationals and from oversea longtime, but this Humphrey Fellows taught me much more”, she said. Thanking her direct collaborator in this fellowship, she named Sara Smith and Ariell Barret, and couldn’t continue, as tears came straight. I remembered that Sara had told me, hours before, “I got another job, and I am leaving too.” Everybody didn’t know if she is leaving. “Sandi didn’t announce it yet”, Sara told me as, preparing to deliver the message on the behalf of the other fellows, and I had asked her if I could say it. So, we don’t always understand why people cry. Emmanuel had suggested by sms, through his Minneapolis transit that we had to say something special about Sara Smith. Beside her, the big confusing idea was, “who to name or not and how?”

Four months after a baby is born, he/she has teeth. He/she can recognize how/what good or bad people are doing to him/her. Jeanie Castillo who came to that ceremony with her intelligent and

Jeanie's daughter in Smith's hands

lovely daughter – who socialized with almost every Humphrey Fellows, despite our origins- , confirmed loudly, my assertion. So, four months in Missoula County, “We were the first H.F. at the University of Montana”, and history would tell about. What a privilege! We came just with very little knowledge in English and in American culture, we knew almost nobody, and now we can accept to be evaluated, those last days and nights in Montana, at least this year 2013, as nobody can predict his/her future.

We sometimes don’t know how to express that kind of feeling that burns human inside, such a moment. We sometimes don’t know how to say “Thanks” to everyone in there. That International Center had become a particular family for us. Elder people helped younger – that we were-, and younger people did it to elders, that we were. We learned to know each other. For example, it became more and more effective to know that Sandra gets annoyed. When she is going to tell something

Hard to find the right words

“unpleasant” to someone, she starts by the addressee name. Jeanie doesn’t finish her sentence. And she laughs. And you understand. Allyson Kellum just use chew gums, and after, she laughs. For Josh Rosenberger, it’s hard to realize. But, when you are invited for a “face to face” when others are left, you have to figure out what is wrong. Note to generalize. Sara Schroeder –the one always on time, beware from her colleague Josh--, she just speak faster for a while and without fixing  the wrong person(s), and it’s finished. And she is probably the happiest in the Team, etc. When we remember about some inconveniences that we caused, we just bed pardon.    

Otherwise, this is the good thing to go back to school, adult: we even learn from people not directly involved in instruction. That Friday, during the last conference at the library, everyone clapped when Julie Biando Edwards was particularly thanked. Zenab said, “Julie, you have this communication power, open to people, kind…” I interrupted her just as a complement, “You should ask me, Zenab. I got some advices from her, and what started to embarrass was her humility.” And her boss, Shali Zhang, then:  she is this kind of person who doesn’t need to talk so that people target the skillful

Seated: Sandra,Julie, Zenab & Shali 

around and in that “scholastic”, back to John Locke and disciples. Her leadership doesn’t need to be proven. Dr Paulo him, is the kind of social person whom distinguishing features can’t be hidden: just tall and, head up.

Gerry Spencer defended the strategic and distinctive tool of listening. Hard to many or, just unknown skill. Besides the Japanese humility, when Dr Sandra made this kind of “white lie”, saying “I have to learn how to listen”, I felt I’d suggest, go to our youngest classmates from Japan:  Ayano Iseki – “Miss uuhmm”-, Chinami Takamura-“Miss Kind of”-, and Kei Kobayashi-“Mister probably”-; before I was with people like Yutaro Kobayashi, Naoya Sugimoto, etc., those silently humorous, personal and skillful guys. So, when we think about all these people, to name just a few and that I just let behind, in Missoula, thinking about meeting them or not --Only God knows--, yes, tears roll down.

Tears roll down too, when Sandra is naming exterior, thoughts and “skills” she learned from each one of us. What an observer!

-          Fernanda is this one who taught me how to greet people: a hug is more sincere,

  -          From Emmanuel, I learned how silence and observation are important in life,
  -          Zineb create this kind of respect from a mother who sacrified her family-life, to prepare a better future.

With Dr Sandra, Paulo and Engstrom

-          “I lived three years in Viet-Nam, and seeing a committed journalist like Thu Ha in a country where government controls everything, particularly medias, I learned that you don’t need to be big (Thu Ha has this vertical challenges), to be efficient.

-          Etc.

So, it depends. Hearing or knowing about all these, you can don’t cry as you ignore how people do good stuffs to others. No comparison, but you can just watch “The impossible”.

Audace Machado